Digital Scrapbooking

So I have decided to take up the hobby of digital scrapbooking. My plan is to creatively journal all of our memories. I like the idea of doing it digitally because I can print as many albums as I want, say one for Grandpa and one for Noah to have when he grows up. I also enjoy doing it on my computer versus doing it all on paper. Plus, the added bonus that I get to share it with all you wonderful people!!!

So I did a tutorial yesterday to learn the basics. I used that to create my own page tonight. This is my first official digital scrapbook page.


Kit Credit - Shabby Princess

I think I did a good job, although I'd like to work on my journaling skills and to adjust the photo to tone down the flash in the one picture. I suppose if I could improve my photography skills, I could fix that as well! I plan to continue sharing my work here and there. Please feel free to give me any feedback. Thanks!!

Memorial Day Weekend

We had a very full and packed weekend of activities. On Saturday, David went fishing with my dad and his neighbor. They went out to my dad's bosses lake (private) and caught lots of fish. Including this beauty:



Sadly, they did put him back since the bigger ones don't taste as good and he can go off and make more babies.

The rest of Saturday, we took it easy and relaxed. We did go out to eat at Steak N Shake, which I have to say I haven't been there since they took the Turkey Melt off the menu over a year ago. It was actually really good. The best part was we ordered Noah his own meal, since kids eat free on the weekends. We got him Jr. Corn Dog Bites and a cup of oranges and he LOVED it. He ate every last bite. Then some fries and shake on top of that. Sometimes that boy really knows how to eat!!

Sunday was my cousin Nick's high school graduation party. Here are a few photos to enjoy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then on Monday, we went to the Magic House in the morning. Facebook was giving away free passes for all of Memorial Day weekend and we definitely wanted to take advantage. I have to say that they got me, because we will definitely be going back. I can even see us getting a membership in the next year or two. Here are a few cute pics from there:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, we finished off our weekend with a fish fry with some friends and family for David's birthday. It was pretty warm that day (I think it hit 95 degrees), but we were able to put up the screenhouse and umbrella for shelter. All the food was so good and delicious and I think everyone had a great time, Noah included. Although he was a little skeptical about Jen and Tom singing Glee.

Guess we are back to reality today. I am supposed to be starting our adjusted summer schedule this week with 1/2 days on Friday. I do have to work a full Friday every couple of weeks, so I'm still waiting to find out if this week is going to be a half or full Friday. I'm kind of hoping for a 1/2 day so I can go to the pool, but we'll see!! Also trying to keep my mind of TTC related things as much as possible, but sometimes it's hard.

SAHM

I contemplated posting this or not, because I'll probably go back in a few days. But maybe I can look back at this post and remember my thinking. Since the day I had Noah, I always wondered if I should be a stay at home mom (SAHM). I test drove it while I was on maternity leave and after those 3 months, I decided that even though I loved Noah with every fiber of my being, I was not meant to be a stay at home mom and I went back to work.

At first, it was really hard. I blame the daycare. We had picked a bad one and it wasn't making the transition back to work very easy when I was concerned about someone else taking care of Noah the wrong way. We switched daycares after a month or so, and that helped. Once they got the routine down, I felt comfortable again. But that didn't last long.

I was soon feeling like I was "missing" everything he did during the day. Work was too long and too stressful and I felt like by the time I got home, I was exhausted. Even though I got a few hours to spend with Noah, I was too tired to do anything with him. After looking through our finances and deciding that it was really just too difficult to quit my job completely, we decided we could do part-time. So I asked my work and long story short, they said no. I felt completely defeated. So I did the only thing I could do at that point: change jobs.

I started working at my new firm in November 2010. At first, it was great. I was really enjoying the flexible hours. Busy season started and it was rough, working 55 hours a week. But I made it through (with the help of a wonderful husband). Now I'm back to working my flexible hours and while I love it, I still miss Noah a lot. We are getting ready to start our summer schedule where I will get Friday afternoons off, which will help too. But will it be enough?

I think I got my answer yesterday. St. Louis has been having some pretty rough storms lately. Yesterday's storms knocked out power to our building and we were sent home early. YAY!!!! So I went and got Noah and was so excited about our afternoon together.

When we got home, I did a few chores and started some laundry, all made more difficult by a 1 one year old running around getting into everything he shouldn't be. Then we went downstairs to play for a while. I was so tired and lazy that all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch TV. What a great mommy, right? Luckily, Noah was fine playing on his own and I would hold the toys he would bring to me or help him get something out of the toybox. Then he got tired and I rocked him a little and this is what happened:



Overall, the day went ok, but I came to some realizations. When I'm sitting here at work thinking that these days when I stay home with Noah would be perfection, I'm so very wrong. In fact, when I'm actually at home with Noah, all I feel is tired, exhausted, unmotivated, and restless. When I'm thinking clearly, I know the right move is for him to be in daycare. He is learning so much there and I know he loves being social with the teachers and other kids. We really have found a great daycare and I would hate to pull him out. Especially since the actual preschool part starts when he turns 2, well not until that following August, but still. I also like that by me working, we can afford vacations and cleaning people. I still think there may be a better life balance by cutting back my hours and going to part time like I wanted to do at my previous job, but I don't feel comfortable asking for that just yet. My plan is to wait until #2 comes. Then I don't think it would be a big deal to go part time at work and still have Noah go to school part time, so he's still learning, etc.

Ok, this post is long enough. Sorry about all my rantings...

Cycle is over.

Again, I wish I could come here and say that the ultrasound went great and there were big eggs and then we triggered. But, it's even worse than before. My eggs actually got smaller. So really there is nothing we can do for this cycle anymore. It's over. I would have started Prometrium tonight to bring on my period and start a new cycle, but because of our vacation planned mid-June, it wouldn't work out for the next cycle. So, instead I'm going to wait and take Prometrium while we are on vacation and my new cycle will start when we get back. This works out better because I won't be pregnant on vacation which means I can drink without worry. It also means I won't have my period on vacation, good for many reasons that I don't think I have to explain (unless you are a guy and then maybe ask your girlfriend and/or wife!).

This also means that it's pushing my potential due date further to the end of busy season and while having me due say on April 15 is not ideal, it means I won't be missing all of busy season and I'll have a spring baby which I would prefer a lot more! So if I do some math, if my new cycle starts on June 26 and I ovulate 14 days later on July 9, I would be due March 31. Not the greatest time, but the reality is that I probably won't ovulate until closer to day 18 or later, which pushes that due date back a little farther. And then, if this cycle doesn't get me pregnant, then the next cycle for sure will be past April 15 and I will be fine.

The specialist also indicated that we would be more aggressive this next cycle. We will go up to 150 mg of Clomid and start some injectable meds if needed. I'm excited about the next cycle, but also anxious since I have to wait so long for that to happen. But in the end, it's all for the better (see reasons above). In the meantime, I need to focus on Noah (who is beyond cute right now) and getting ready for our vacation. So don't expect too many TTC posts between now and then.

Oh and one other note, Congrats to my brother who graduated college last night. We are so very proud of him and all that he has accomplished so far. I know he will do big things with his life. I have pictures, but they are on my camera which I don't have with me.

More thinking...

So I've thought a lot about this and I've decided that yesterday was probably for the best. First of all, because of this delay, I will most likely have to sit next cycle out due to our vacation planned for mid-June. This is sort of a good thing because I can drink while on vacation and not worry about being pregnant. Don't get me wrong...I would much rather be pregnant and not drink. But if I'm not going to be pregnant, I would at least like to drink worry-free. Also, don't worry that I will be drinking and partying crazy with a 1 year old toddler with me. I just plan on having a few drinks by the pool/beach.

Because of the delay and sitting out next cycle, it's looking like the following cycle wouldn't start up until late June, possibly even early July, depending on what we do. I have calculated that if I want my baby to be due post April 15, it has to be conceived later than July 30. I am really hoping for after that date, so that I don't have to miss busy season again (I did with Noah). You probably think I'm crazy, but I enjoy busy season. I don't like not seeing my family and working long hours, but I like being busy, the days go by quickly, and I just get a lot of satisfaction out of it. Not to mention that I haven't been at my new job for that long, so I don't really want to explain to them that I'm pregnant already and have to miss busy season. The other reason is because I hated being home on maternity leave when it was so cold out. I felt like I couldn't take him out because it was cold/flu season and it was too cold outside. I would much rather have maternity leave in the later spring or summer. Now of course, these are all my "wants". God obviously has the master plan. Maybe He thinks I shouldn't be stressing myself at work and will make me due during busy season. Maybe He thinks I should have a baby closer to winter and I won't get pregnant for several months. Maybe He thinks I'm done having kids. I don't know.

One tiny regret, though. I miss breastfeeding. I feel like because of all this and with the vacation planned, that I may have gotten a little too eager to want another baby. Now with all this waiting, I could have continued breastfeeding Noah until he was ready to be completely done. Or maybe he was completely done anyway??? My plan is to breastfeed the next one longer, especially since I'm ok waiting a few years for a third. Yes, I want a third. Really, I want several more, but that's up to the husband, who I think would be happiest with just the 3. Again, it's really all up to God.

On a side note - this weekend is my brother's college graduation. He has been in college a little longer than your average person, but that makes it nonetheless wonderful. He has really grown into an adult these last few years. He's engaged to be married in October and has just become extremely mature. My mom would have been really proud and of course, my whole family is very happy and proud.

Oh ok, I'll post some pictures, since it's been a while. This is a great picture of Noah (well, his head). It was sent from our daycare, he fell asleep while playing:




And another one of him enjoying his new slide:




I will get better at taking pictures.

Mid-Cycle U/S

Ok - I posted this yesterday, but it got lost in cyber space. Here it is again:

I wish I could come on here and say that I had some wonderful eggs growing and we did the trigger today. Sadly, I cannot. Basically, all my eggs are about the same size as they were on day 2. That means that they have not started growing at all! Apparently, this is common with PCOS and Clomid. It messes up your system and you ovulate late. So that's why they haven't really geared up yet. I have 2 options. Option 1 is wait and see if they just grow on their own, but a little late. Option 2 is to do a Follistim injection which would really encourage the eggs to grow faster. However, that little injection costs $200 and may or may not even work. I decided to just wait and see. I have another ultrasound set up on Monday.

The part I worry about is that I think your eggs can only grow 2 mm a day, so that's only a total growth of about 8 mm by Monday. Even if my biggest egg at 8mm today grows by another 8mm Monday, it will only be at 16mm which isn't big enough for a trigger still. So there could be yet another ultrasound after Monday for the trigger.

There is some good news. My lining was at about 14mm which is really good and better than I've ever had before. This means that my body did respond somewhat. Now if I could just get some eggs to grow, they have a nice cushy place to go!

I talked a little with the specialist about why this is happening. Basically she thinks that the first cycle is always the slowest. My body is not used to growing eggs and ovulating, so it takes a little while for them to remember what they are supposed to do. If you remember, I got pregnant on the 2nd cycle last time around. The first cycle was slow just like this one. Granted, I did take the Follistim shot last time and I didn't this time, so we'll see! I'll keep everyone updated!!

Noah's 15 month Well Baby Visit

Yesterday Noah had his 15 month well baby visit. Nothing too exciting. A couple of shots, which Noah did very well. The first one, he was like "What was that?" following by the crying. The second was like "Why did you do it AGAIN?" and more crying. And then came the Snoopy band-aid and he was happy again..haha!

His weight was 21 pounds even and length of 29 inches. Compare this with 3 months ago at his 12 month visit, he has gained almost 3 pounds....3 pounds!!! That's 1 pound a month and really good growth considering how little he was gaining before. I contribute this to his really good eating habits. For length, he has gained .75 inches. Not a ton, but it's some. He's always going to be short.

Otherwise, everything else looks good. Noah is a little behind in his teeth (he only has 6) but doctor thinks a bunch will pop out VERY soon. Yay for teething!

I also want to mention that Noah is doing really well in daycare right now. I don't remember if I mentioned that I thought he was ready to move up into the 1 year old but because there isn't enough room in there until August when all the kids move up, he had to stay put in the nursery. Well they hired a new nursery worker and she has opened up the 3rd room in the nursery which now consists of 4 of the "older" babies, which includes Noah. They tried doing this a few months ago but it fell apart. Partly because they tried doing too many kids and also for Noah, I think it was too early. Now he's ready. And he's showing it, too! He lays down and takes a good 2 to 2 and a half hour nap with the other kids. I think he enjoys playing with the older kids and eating with them. His teacher says he is a lot less "whiny" over there and actually dislikes going back over to the main nursery side when they close (his teacher is only there from 8am-4:30pm so if I haven't gotten there by 4:30, they move him over to the nursery again). I do wish they did more crafts or projects, but maybe in time, they will.

Nothing TTC related going on, I have an ultrasound on Thursday morning and will update when I get back. Hoping for lots of big eggs!

Labwork back

So here are the results (the ideal or preferred # is in parenthesis):

FSH = 6.1 (<10)
LH = 8.1
LH/FSH ratio = 1.33 (<2)
Estradiol = 48 (<75)
Testosterone = 48 (2-45) (my previous level was 103)
DHEA Sulfate = 304 (40-325)
Insulin = 7 (<17)
Glucose = 68 (normal)

Basically, everything except the testosterone are in the normal range. This is really good news. I am happiest about the insulin levels. This means that I am no longer technically insulin resistant, although I do need to stay on my meds (for who knows how long) to maintain this. Or at least to get me to loose a lot more weight to get to a point where maybe I don't need meds.

What this means for fertility? NOTHING! I really thought that if I could get some of these levels down, my body would start ovulating like normal. But apparently no. My ultrasound clearly showed polycystic ovaries, and my specialist just says that even though my levels are decreased, I will still have problems ovulating and getting pregnant. Sigh.